Life · Mental Illness

Put Yourself First

Happy February friends!

Can you believe it’s already a new month? If you’re anything like me, you’re still writing 2015 after the date. (This is kind of a problem when I spend my days charting in medical records).

I hope January treated all you well! I’m always looking for an excuse for self-reflection and the end of a month seems like the perfect time. Here are some things that made me happy this month (in no particular order):

  • Discovering House of Cards (if you haven’t watched it, YOU NEED TO)
  • Starting my clinical rotation at the hospital with really awesome dietitians that make the workday feel not so bad
  • Putting a string of Christmas lights around my room so I can lay in bed at night with candles lit and feel like I’m in my own little cozy world
  • Spending the first two days of the year with two of my best friends, eating brunch and drinking wine like the fine ladies we are
  • Sitting in on WIC appointments and seeing first-hand why government assistance programs are necessary (despite what many politicians would like to believe); in particular, sitting in one one appointment with a woman about my age with one-year old twins who was so excited and so committed to being a mother
  • Putting the handwarmers that may sister made me in my boots in the morning to keep my feet warm (sound like something you need? Check out her Etsy site here)
  • Re-reading Brene Brown’s The Gift of Imperfection 
  • Attending a Bernie Sanders rally
  • Peppermint chocolate Lindt truffles
  • Discovering podcasts (I’m like 8 years late to the game, I know. Side note: if any of you have podcast suggestions particularly anything having to do with politics or feminism or general inspirational bad-ass-ness, I am all ears. Leave them in the comments below!)
  • Time to relax after work without having to do schoolwork (again. House of Cards.)
  • Southern Pecan coffee that I ground in my new coffee bean grinder- all thanks to my godmother :)

I’ve also had time to regroup and refocus this month. It’s fitting that it’s a new month because this weekend brought about big changes and life-altering revelations. I won’t get into them much here but suffice it to say, I am much more enlightened about the direction my life needs to go in than I was last week. (You may be thinking, “wow! That sounds like pretty heavy stuff!” You would be right.)

As I go into the new month, I’ve got a lot of ideas and a lot of goals bouncing around in my brain. Originally, this blog post was much longer but I’ve decided that most of the thoughts in my head aren’t ready to be shared with the world yet. Stay tuned.

This month, I’m deciding to put myself first which feels like a positively radical idea. I so rarely put myself first. Next to never. It fills me with guilt and the feeling that I’m a selfish disappointment (I’m pretty mean to myself in my head). I live my life constantly trying to keep everyone around me happy, never disappointing or rocking the boat. This week, when I was having a particularly bad day of people-pleasing, I got a much-needed reminder from my boyfriend: “Put yourself first.”

My goal this month is to abandon the compulsive urge to say yes when I really want to say no. To relinquish the need to check that other people won’t get upset before I make a decision. To surrender myself to what want. To make myself a priority. What a profoundly foreign idea.

i love myself

So I ask you: what made you happy in January? What are your goals in February? How do you put yourself first? Share in the comments below!

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5 thoughts on “Put Yourself First

  1. January flew by for me and I had some health issues that are now resolved so it as actually a pretty crappy…yet fast month. :) I’ve just started putting myself first again in the last year or so. I’ve been mom and wife first for a very long time. It’s nice to lay on my be and read or watch Netflix and crochet. (ok ok I’ll watch House of cards! ;))

    I will tell you a little something about WIC. When my now 19 year old son was little we were on WIC. We had it for about a year. My husband then got a raise and we didn’t need it anymore so I called the office and told them that while we still qualified, we didn’t NEED it and that I felt that there were others that actually needed it so we were leaving the program. The lady I spoke to was pretty much speechless. She thanked me for being so honest and for not taking something we didn’t need. It was just a really positive experience. That was a very long time ago and I still remember her reaction. I think WIC is one of the best programs available. You can’t abuse it and that makes it a really positive thing. .

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    1. I’m so happy to hear that you are feeling better! At least that is behind you now. I can’t even imagine how hard it is to get me time as a mom and wife- but even more important! Also: we have very similar TV show preferences. I LOVE that story about WIC thank you so much for sharing. That is so gracious of you and those are the stories that should be shared! I had a wonderful experience at WIC; it was enough to convince me that I would be happy doing that for a career. Glad you shared!

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