Hey hi hello! Happy 2016!
If you’ve been here before, you may have noticed that my blog got a New Year makeover. I’m into it, I hope you are too. I also got an Instagram account so if any of you are on Instagram (and really who isn’t?) my account is @coffeeandconundrums. I promise you won’t regret it if you follow me!
The first days of the New Year have been quite lovely. I spent the first two days kicking it in North Providence with my girl Laura and and it was filled with all things lovely. Sleeping in, brunch, coffee. Pretending we can afford things at Anthropologie. Doing grandmotherly activities and drinking wine/spiked seltzers. Another brunch with other lovely ladies. All the makes of a good year so far.
I mentioned in my last post that I’m not a true resolutions person, but the morning of New Year’s Day, I decided I wanted to pick three words to associate with the New Year. Words and ideas that will hopefully weave their way into my everyday life. There’s a million words I could have come up with but I tried to sort through them to pick three words that are broad enough to encompass a whole bunch of other things. I narrowed it down to these three:
Let me explain. In all my 22 years, I don’t think I’ve mastered the art of balance yet in any aspect of my life. Balance is hard. For me, the biggest struggle is balancing food and exercise. And within the food struggle is the balance between food groups (if you’re thinking how ironic it is that a future registered dietitian can’t figure this out, I don’t want to hear it). It’s not that I don’t know what I need to do; it’s just that I don’t always do it. There’s all sorts of areas in my life I would like to be better balanced. Look out, 2016 Meghan! You’re going to be so balanced, you won’t know what to do with yourself.
Acceptance. Oh, acceptance. How I struggle with you so. Don’t get me wrong, I am oh-so accepting of other people. If it were possible to be too accepting, I think it’s possible that I may be over-accepting of other people. I accept unpleasant situations without much trouble either- traffic, rain, an extra assignment.
My struggle with acceptance lies entirely within myself. I have to actively remind myself everyday to accept this body I’m living in. I grapple with the decisions I make. As my both my therapist and my boyfriend remind me, I beat myself up over everything. I have trouble accepting the way I look, the way I feel, the things I do, the things I say. Acceptance. That’s what I need. To accept that I may not always be able to exercise, that I may not always to be in absolute control of what I eat. Accept that I am a person with ideas worth sharing.
Lastly, grace. Grace is a concept I’ve been interested in for quite some time now. Now I don’t mean grace in the form of elegance and beauty. There is a 0% chance that I will ever be graceful in that manner- I am an awkward human who has a tendency to fall, unprovoked by anything but her own two feet. That is not the type of grace I’m talking about. Here’s what I’m talking about:
grace (n): unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification
Those folks at Merriam-Webster sure do enjoy the big words don’t they? To sanctify something is to give official acceptance to it; to regenerate is to produce something anew. A lot of the definitions touch on religion, but that’s not necessarily what I’m talking about either. So basically what I mean when I say grace is: I want to be able to forgive myself for the mistakes I make along the way. I will undoubtedly slip up on the goals I make to myself this year- I will struggle with acceptance, I will live out of balance. I will sometimes be unsuccessful in my endeavors, however big and however small.
I want to be able to forgive myself for these things and to do it with a bit of grace. If I seek some assistance from the divine during this process, well, even better. My hope is forgive myself and as the definition implies, start anew, give myself permission to start with a clean slate. Realize that one slip-up does not mean that I’m spiraling down. To stumble with grace and the reminder that the next day, the next hour, the next minute is a brand new start.
My hope is that focusing and remembering these three words will lead my to my sort of “always” goals- peace and worthiness. I wrote them, big and pretty, and hung them on my bedroom wall so I don’t forget them. I challenge all of you to pick a few words- or even one single word- to focus on this year. Not a resolution necessarily, but a sort of mantra for yourself. If you feel so inclined, please share! Wishing everyone a happy first week of the New Year.