I had a strange thing happen to me the other night. I was laying in my bed, after a long but not bad day, when I had the strangest sensation, an acute awareness of my life.. I was laying in my bed, sending internship emails in my pajamas with a cup of tea. I leaned over to grab my mug and I stopped. I looked around at my room, my bed, my apartment which all somehow looked different at that moment. “I am here,” I thought. “This is really it. I am really doing it.”
“It”. What is “it” exactly that I’m doing?
I’m really in a dietetic internship, a point that I had been dreaming about not a year earlier. I really moved out of my house, I got an apartment. I have a life away from the one that I grew up in, away from the people and the cows and the familiarity of the local grocery store. I do my own grocery shopping, I make my own meals, I worry about money. I wake up before the sun does, I eat meals at normal times, I wear real pants with grown-up socks (my mom will get a kick out of the term “grown-up” socks. Thanks for taking me sock shopping mama!). I vacuum, I wipe down the counters and sink in a way that would make my mom proud, I changed my own oil last week for God’s sake. I am an…adult seems like too strong a word, but applicable nonetheless.
And in that moment, in my grown-up apartment, everything looks a little different.
P.S. You may notice that book underneath- it’s called 10% Happier by Dan Harris. He was (is) an ABC News corespondent who had an anxiety attack on live television and found meditation and mindfulness. It’s a really cool book and I highly recommend it, even to all those who think of mindfulness as too “granola” for them (Harris was also a doubter). He’s engaging and funny and worth the read. And bottom line, we should all make a little more room for mindfulness in our lives.
Happy Monday friends!